I’m sitting here watching If I Stay.. well sort of. The internet is lagging so I keep having to pause it so it will load up more of the movie. Meanwhile, I’m thinking about the Diane Keaton autobiography I have sitting next to my bed that I’ve been meaning to read but can’t seem to pull away from my Harry Potter. Ugh the dilemma of being a book worm am I right?
I’ve been thinking for weeks about something worth writing about. Looking for any sort of inspiration that may spark an idea but frankly, I’ve been too damn tired. Of course, I’m always tired. I can’t remember the last time that I felt like I had actually caught up on all of the sleep that I’ve lost between being so big that I wish I could sleep on my belly to sharing a twin mattress with a 2 year old and Mickey Mouse/Donald Duck. But lately it’s just been almost unbearable. Coffee is only doing so much and the kiddos have been avoiding naps like they are the plague. If they only knew that they’ll wish they that never took things like sleep or bathroom trips alone for granted.. One day.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about how I was when I was younger. I worked out more even if it was running around being crazy and randomly playing tennis. I would apply body lotion like it was my second skin and now I can’t remember the last time I used it. No wonder I complain about dry skin.. I ate a whole lot better. I’m probably the only woman that wishes that she could gain more weight. I’ve never really been a big fan of being the skinny girl. The more meat on the bones the better I say. Women’s figures from the mid century were so gorgeous and now the “in” thing is to be the smallest and most tone you can be. I guess if that’s what you prefer, to each their own, but I’d rather give my significant other something to hold on to.
I want to read more. I want to eat better. I want to exercise and pay more attention to my body. I want to feel more energized and less anxious. I want to not feel like the walking dead all the time.
Of course, you can want a lot of things but actually making them happen is a whole other story. Just like I’ve been wanting to find more inspiration to write when all I really had to do was just sit in front of my laptop and start typing. That’s probably how a lot of things in life work right? They say if you’re tired of the way your life is going then what you have to do is change something or else you will continue to get the same thing you’ve always gotten.